Dear Rowan, July 5th Wichita, KS
I hate my life. In general at least,
there are a few details that are really nice. This job is so many levels below
the gutter ranking that I gave my last job that you would have to go sewer
spelunking to find it, and even then you would need to prepare for a deep dive.
I did not realize before that the customers from my last job were saints. They
actually cared about their devices and were concerned in getting them fixed.
They knew that their little electronic gadgets, as wonderfully handy and useful
as they were, they were still privileges, not rights. They were willing to work
with the disembodied voice on the phone to troubleshoot and get their gadgets
fixed, and they were grateful for my assistance when those gadgets did get
fixed, and grateful for my efforts even when they would have to take their
electronics into the shop. The customers at my new job (which I refuse to
disclose, if only out of self respect, and no, it is nothing dirty, just
degrading for my level of education) seem to think that the services this
company provides are a right, not a privilege. And its not even a phone, its
strictly for entertainment! These people could not troubleshoot their way out
of an open paper sack, with a map, or instructions that said "go out the
open end." Most of these gene pool rejects think that, no matter what the
problem is, I have a magic button on my computer that will instantly fix their
device. Even if it got dropped, or they spilled their beer on it and now its
smoking heavily. And of course that is not their fault, our gadgets should
apparently be beer-proof. And heaven forbid they have to actually do any
troubleshooting, even something as supremely difficult as getting off their
butts to make sure the darned equipment is plugged in (and I have gotten more
than one call where that was indeed the issue. Apparently they thought you just
set it in proximity of other devices needed to make it work, and it would do
everything else itself), or turned on. Yes, most electronic devices do have a
power button, which you need to press to get them to turn on and work! If step
by step instructions are needed, I know I am in for a long call. The more steps
there are for a person to go through, they dumber they seem to get. Even if
they need to push the same darned button repeatedly, they find it with no
problem the first time, and before the troubleshooting steps are finished I
have to describe what the button looks like, its location relative to the
customer, and what they are supposed to do once they find this suddenly
mysterious button. Its like once they are on the phone their brains have a time
limit after which there is a period of diminishing returns, culminating in the
statement "just send out a tech!" And these are the customers who
have made sure I understand that they are technologically savvy, and really
didn't need to call because they know exactly what they are doing, it is just
that their gadget is abnormal. Average customers begin with the tech demand,
then the call goes downhill from there when I try to explain that the issue
they have taken ten minutes describing to me can, indeed, be fixed with the
simple push of a reset button, but that button is actually on their device, so
they will have to go over to their device and push it themselves. Someday I am
sure we will have holographic techs like the doctor on DS9 who can appear, push
the button for them, then disappear again, just so they are not inconvenienced
by having to take those four steps and extend their finger to push that one
button.
And to add to my pathetic rant, I am
still living in that same rat hole of an apartment, as there does not seem to
be anything better within walking distance, biking distance, or even really
driving distance of downtown Wichita. I have looked at several apartments, and
it turns out that this pathetic sink hole is in fact a really nice apartment.
Most of what I have found are listed as apartments, but with communal public
spaces. Somehow what I picture as an apartment does not resemble a frat house,
without the high general education level or quality of character of college
freshmen. Or there are a few apartments which are in fact studios with a
curtain for the bathroom, and the studio area is just large enough to fit a
single bed and a one-person table and chair space, with the kitchen being a
part of one wall, usually adjoining the bathroom curtain. Now, I will say that
I have been avoiding looking at anything with with a lease longer than six
months, since if I cannot find a better job by then I am throwing another dart.
Among the as yet limited bonuses for
living in Wichita, they have an amazing fireworks display for the 4th of July. There were 12
different fireworks shows in the Wichita area, and if you went up onto the roof
of one of the tall buildings downtown (which they let you do, I didn't even
have to try and sneak up to the roof) I could see all of them. Plus
there was a party on the roof, which was fun even if I didn't know anybody,
except a few acquaintances from work. Other than the fear of electrocution from
lightning strike, this would be a great place to come to and storm-watch.
Everything is so flat I feel like I can actually see the curve of the Earth. It
is a little disconcerting, really. All the week leading up to the 4th there were parades and
festivals, most of them with free food, which was great, since most of it was
home cooked real food, not prepackaged boxed stuff.
Oh! And remember I told you about the
Arkansas River Trail? It is a wonderful, magical place to be on a summer
evening. There are fireflies everywhere! Apparently fireflies like water, and
the trail runs along the river, so it is a trail full of wonderful, whimsical
blinking bugs! I had never seen fireflies in real life before, just on tv. They
are so amazing to see in person! I actually climbed a tree along the trail just
so I could sit above them and watch them. I must have been up there for at
least an hour, just watching the fireflies blink. And I can play with them too!
If I blink the little flashlight on my keychain just right, I can get fireflies
to come to me!
Right up until I got my first grumpy customer call when I went
back to work after my weekend when I first discovered the fireflies, they made
Wichita feel like a worthwhile decision, which is the first time that has
happened since I have been here. The other thing I discovered that weekend,
which was the first time I went down onto the Arkansas River Trail, is the
wonderful smell of running through sweetgrass and prairie sage fields in the
morning. It is intoxicating, and would be even if those runs were not the best
parts of my days right now, excepting the fireflies.
There have been a few more tornado
warnings in the past month and a bit, but nothing that has come close to
Wichita. I am certainly not sad to have been missed by the weather this
tornado season. Locals here tell me that the tornado season is over now, except
for a smaller season in the fall, but apparently spring is the big time for
tornadoes, so if we have made it into summer without getting hit by one, we
should be ok until the season comes around again next year.
While we may not be getting
tornadoes, we are also not getting any rain. The locals say it probably won't
come until Fall now, which means the world around here is turning brown. I
understand why so few houses have manicured lawns now, it would cost too much
to water them and keep them green. Instead folks seem to go for a sort of
desert yard, with rocks and weeds in place of grass and shrubbery. Between the
cost of watering, and the ticks, who would bother to keep up a good lawn? I
would be too worried about the ticks to go into the yard to have a picnic or
lay down and watch the clouds, even with a blanket. Bugs can move fast over
blankets, all it would take was a minute or two distracted, and they could be
eating you, like little buggy zombies gnawing away!
I got your letter! I am glad to hear
that the great NYC is just as crazy and hectic as ever. If it wasn't, I am not
sure what I would think about it, of all cities that one is supposed to never
sleep and never stop. I am not sure I could stand that sort of pace though, I
come from a small town and the mad dash of the city seems overwhelming. I mean,
even lazy Wichita seems rushed compared to Arbuckle! I am afraid I don't feel
very brave for moving out here, I just feel lost and adrift, and I feel like
maybe this was a really bad idea after all. I don't know, things just are not
working out they way I had imagined. I feel like I went from spinning my wheels
in Arbuckle to spinning my wheels in Wichita. Same stagnation, different city.
You would go crazy trying to live out here with me, it is so slow that I am
nearly going crazy and I am used to the laid back rhythm of a smaller town than
this. Somehow the anonymity of a bigger town makes it seems slower paced, since
there are not people I know all around to pass the time with.
It sounds like we are both searching
for something to give us the kick start we need to get our lives going. But we
will find it, both of us, I just know it. I just don't know when we will find
it. But if it doesn't show up soon I am going to hunt it down, pummel it into
being the future I want it to be, then drag it up to New York so you can get
things started for yourself too!
Here's hoping for better days and a
bright future for us both!
Your friend,
Emily
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